First things first. You need to know the season of life I’m in right now.
My husband and I have been married just almost three years. We have no kids. We have good paying jobs, but we work opposite shifts. I work 2:30-11:30 a.m. and he works 2:30-11:30 p.m. We have very few responsibilities outside of each other and work.
So when you rolled your eyes when you read this title and scoffed at me thinking, “Wow. Aren’t you just sooooooo lucky.” Trust me, I know I am.
I’m also aware that this season won’t last forever. There will come a time when jobs will change, kids come into our lives, we’ll have more responsibilities, etc. However, we’re not there yet and by prioritizing sleep, I’m able to give 110% to everything that I do when I’m awake. (Most of the time.)
Right now “self-care” is this really popular excuse for women to get manicures and facials and take days off of work. And while I think those things are fun and yes, sometimes even needed, real self-care isn’t so sexy.
One of the most important ways to give yourself self-care is to make sure you’re getting enough sleep. You remember the adage that goes something like, “Life is made up of sleep, school/work, and social life, but you can only choose two”? That is false. You can choose all three, but it requires the most cliche word in all of personal development: balance.
So how do I balance sleep with a busy work life and a fulfilling social life? I’m glad you asked.
I work a crazy shift. Having to drive 30 minutes to work at 2 o’clock in the morning is rough. Some days are easier than others, but there are days when I’m really tired. We’ve all been there, right? But I notice that for me, I’m the most tired when I get less than 10 hours of sleep.
I can’t tell you why my body requires this much sleep. I know that in high school and part of college I suffered from really bad migraines. I was also really busy and considered myself lucky if I got 8 hours of sleep. Most of the time I functioned on 6 or less. As I got older though and began to have more control over my schedule, I started prioritizing sleep by going to bed as early as necessary to get 9-10 hours of sleep before my alarm goes off. And guess what! I've been relatively migraine free for 7 years!
Now as a working professional, I sleep as much as I can so that I crush my day like a champ. I don’t want feeling sluggish to affect the quality of my work or my interactions with other people.
So even though I may only be awake for 12-14 hours of the day, it is a jam packed 12-14 hours! Usually every minute of my day is scheduled out. And I always try to attack the day with the energy of a child opening presents on Christmas. Granted, I'm not immune to hitting the snooze button a few times or waiting to have a conversation till after coffee and some breakfast. However, by the time I'm pulling into the office, I'm almost always itching to get the day started!
Health officials say that adults need 8-9 hours of sleep on average. And I’ve seen, and I'm sure you have too, that’s not really true for everyone. People really do function on different levels of sleep. My dad can still live his best life on 4-5 hours of sleep. A friend of mine who’s in her mid-20’s finds that her sweet spot is 6 hours. I just happen to need 10.
So what about you?
You may not need to get as much sleep as the World Health Organization says you need to. You may not need to get as much sleep as I do. But you need to recognize where sleep fits into your health and your ability to accomplish your tasks and goals of the day.
If you’re getting five hours of sleep at night and you need six cups of coffee throughout the day and a nap in the afternoon, you need to rethink your priority on sleep.
You can also feel sluggish if you get too much sleep. Action begets action. If you’re constantly sleeping 12 hours a day and still feeling like you need a nap or like you can’t function at work, you may need to cut down to 8-10 hours and figure out another way to energize yourself with your new free 2-4 hours of daylight. You may also need to see a doctor to make sure there’s not something serious going on like chronic fatigue or mono.
Earlier, I said that sleep, work, and socializing requires balance.
Here’s the truth you may not want to hear: Sometimes in order to get the sleep you need, you’ll need to say no to other things. But if you’re like me, here’s the truth you may want to hear: You absolutely have permission to say no to things in order to prioritize sleep.
Whether it’s FOMO or disappointing others, there’s always a reason why we feel like we can’t say no. But this is a lie. Saying no is one of the most powerful ways to reclaim control of your life and take back your health.
Sometimes you need to say no to hanging out with friends. Sometimes you need to say no to working extra hours at work. You need your rest. You need to sleep. If you’re not functioning the way you want to, I encourage you to first and foremost evaluate your sleeping habits.
God ingrained in us an ability to self-heal. Our body is designed to fight disease and illness. One of the most valuable tools we have at our disposable is sleep.
For me that means I almost always say no to socializing during the work week. I’ve made exceptions of course for family visiting or a friend’s birthday party. However, I reserve most of my socializing for my days off. Friday and Saturdays are almost exclusively reserved for fun! Even on the weekends I’m up at 6:30 a.m. so that I can make the most of my time. Then Sundays are reserved for lighthearted socializing like brunch, watching football on the couch, or sipping a glass of wine with a friend. The low-key socializing of Sundays is part of the rest I need to get ready for work again on Monday.
The times I feel most out of sync on Mondays is when my Sundays are packed with activities. I need that time to ease into the routine of work again.
This is an ideal routine week for me, but it doesn’t always happen. You have to roll with what life gives you. Some weeks you have to be more social or you have to work more than others. However, I know way too many people who don’t listen to their body’s needs, push themselves to be everywhere and do everything for everybody, and eventually get so burned out that they’re sick for weeks or paralyzed by fear at the thought of slowing down.
But girl! That self-care that you're missing may just be sleep. I know it’s not pretty. I know it’s not instagrammable. However, if you want to create a purposeful life for yourself, you need to be well rested.
Personal development podcasts and speakers are always emphasizing that go-go-go mentality. They want to help you “do all the things.” They want you to get off the couch and go to the gym. They want you to get up early and stay up late so that you’re hustling for 18 hours a day to “live your best life.”
But that can be so discouraging for someone who is battling anxiety and depression. Sometimes we need to be in a season of rest instead of a season of hustle. I want to speak to those women right now; the ones who feel guilty about not getting up at 6 a.m. and the ones who cry in the car on their way to work: You don’t have to be in a season of hustle right now. You can absolutely live a great life, accomplish great things, and be in a total season of rest.
Your victory may not be building a multi-million dollar company this season. Your best may just be showing up for work at all. Your greatest accomplishment may not be going to the gym four days a week. Instead, it may be getting out of bed and going for a walk around the neighborhood. Sometimes you don't need to quit your job and pursue your dream career to feel successful. Today, your standard of success is simply not calling out of work when you’re having a particularly bad day dealing with anxiety.
Depression and anxiety are not an excuse to be lazy. However, depression and anxiety are very real issues that change your idea of success. If you’re in a season of rest right now, that it is okay! Know that you are preparing and being prepared for the next season of hustle by taking care of yourself right now.
One of my favorite quotes about rest is by the founder and CEO of the non-profit Girls Who Code. She’s also the author of the book, “Brave not Perfect.”
You cannot be brave if you’re tired. -Reshma Saujani
If you have a dream that you want to come to life or a project at work you want to tackle or a family you want to start, you need to be brave. Anytime you ever do something new or out of your comfort zone, you need to be brave. And you cannot be brave if you’re tired.
Be okay with being in the season of rest right now so that when the season changes you’re ready for it!
So what are you doing still reading this? Go to bed!
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