I know. This is nothing unique.
Blogging for a lot of people has become an excuse not to have a real job. Nowadays it seems like literally everyone and their mom has a blog. Now here I am joining the masses. Why?
It's really simple. I have a lot of thoughts. Good thoughts. Thoughts that fill my head, words that stir in my heart, feelings that I've expressed to people who say it resonates with them. And though there's nothing unique about blogging, it's just a place for me to share my story and what I'm learning in the hope that it'll help people.
That's really what I want. To help people. Because there have been so many people who have helped me. Many of them are people I know personally like friends, teachers, my family, and my therapists. But there are also a lot of people who have helped me who don't have a clue who I am.
I love personal development/lifestyle/leadership podcasts and books that inspire me to always be improving. Some of my favorite are like Rachel Hollis, Brendan Burchard, Ed Mylett, Jordan Lee Dooley, Tony Robbins, Brené Brown, and John Maxwell.
But I'm in a weird season of life where I want so badly to be tackling all these really big things in order to become a better version of myself and achieve all my goals just like my mentors inspire me to do. However, I'm in the middle of an intense battle with anxiety and depression. So going after my dreams? It's really really hard.
And that's why I'm blogging.
In a lot of ways I feel very stuck. I want to grow and achieve and create big things for my life, but I feel like I'm living in quicksand. Every step I try to take forward just pulls me deeper into the bog.
Now, several of these authors and speakers I mentioned do talk about having gone through seasons of darkness. However, it's hard to find anyone who is publishing their mental illness in real time. It's inspiring to hear from people who have "made it to other side," but I'm not there yet. I'm not at the top of my career or the height of my marriage looking back on all the struggles fondly because each challenge "made me the person I am today."
No, I'm in the thick of the morning mood swings, nightly panic attacks, Monday blues, and weekend depressions. I have really high highs and really low lows and plenty of blah days in between.
I'm not staring down at you from the mountain top telling you to "keep climbing. You can do it. If I can do it, you can too." No, I'm crawling and clawing, crying and cursing and contemplating giving up, right there alongside you.
I don't know if it's better on the other side. I don't even know if there's another side let alone how to get there or how long it will take. However, I want to keep fighting and I want to keep fighting with you.
Like the personal development speakers who have come before me, I want to create a space for people to gain insight into their own lives and use that knowledge to create happiness and purpose for themselves.
I don't think purpose comes only in the sunshine and in the good times. We still have purpose even on the days when it's hard to get out of bed or we cry more than we smile.
You don't have to wait until you've conquered your mental health to have a beautiful, meaningful, joyful purpose in life. Creating a beautiful, meaningful, joyful purpose for your life is part of conquering your mental health.
Your purpose isn't just waiting for you to get better so that it can reveal itself to you. It lives within you. You just need to figure out what it is and how to use it. And you can do that even when you're depressed.
All the personal development podcasts and blogs and books that you and I love speak a lot of truth. However, if you're dealing with mental illness, there are ways that those personal development techniques and practices need to be modified for this season in our lives.
That's where I'm stepping in.
So if you're looking for 7-Steps to Cure Your Mental Illness, this isn't that. I can't give you any answers to make your mental illness go away. If I could, believe me, I would because I hate how many people are going through this struggle. It's really become an epidemic in our society.
The pages of this blog are simply stories. My story. I want to share my own experiences, lessons, and thought-processes that have helped me handle (and sometimes not handle) different situations while dealing with depression and anxiety.
I've said it before. I'll say it again.
You don't have to wait til you've conquered your mental health to have a beautiful, meaningful, joyful purpose in life. Creating a beautiful, meaningful, joyful purpose for your life is part of conquering your mental health.
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